the day he left me was a sunday.the day he hurt me was a sunday.the day he made me cry was a sunday.i dislike sundays, i really dislike sundays..why do i feel so pain when he leave me?
why is it that loving someone hurts so much?
why is it that he had to make that decision?
but no matter how long its gonna take...
287 days or 9 months; i'll wait, i'll wait.
his good his bad.. his love, his care...
is all i yearn for.. i dont want anything else..
i could throw the world aside, just for him..
i just want him to be with me...
5 months past by just in the blink of an eye..
9 months would be the same too, i believe..
but why is it that im so afraid?
why is it that i feel that time aint moving at all?
what can i do to make time fly? really fly??
as always, i dont mind having a shorter life span;
in exchange of something i yearn having..
which is my boy to come back to me...
in the past 5 months, i've reflected on the r/s.
we love each other, we need each other..
the misunderstandings, the secrets not shared..
the attitudes when we both are in bad mood.
perhaps this isnt a break up at all..
the time apart, is for us to go think about things..
go think about our relationship..
and i really regretted treating him bad...
i really cherish having him around...
i miss the good old days..
i want the story to continue from where it stopped.
but maybe all this needa take some time..
but im certain that i'll wait.....
im afraid that the day we get back together..
everything will feel so different..
im afraid a patch-back relationship wont be good.
im afraid it wont work out...
im afraid of separating with him again..
i dont ever want him to leave..
neither do i want to lose him ever again..
some said that i shldnt hang on to the past..
they said i shld move on with life..
some said that i shldnt give up on the past..
and shld perservere and wait for him to return..
i dont care what others say of me..
because all i know is that i'll do what i wanna do..
which is to wait for my dearest faithfully..
i havent had given him my best in the past..
so maybe i could use this 9 months to compensate.
waiting for him this 9 months actually means nothing.
compared to what he had given me...
all these means nothing..
but even if so, i'll give him what i can..
i'll give him my support as always..
i'll let him know i'll be there for him always..
maybe i cant let him know from words of the mouth..
but action always speak louder than words..
i remember what he told me..
he'd give me another opportunity after the 1st JB trip.
and this time he asked for some time apart..
without contacting with each other..
maybe its a test..
maybe he just wanna see if i'd be like the past..
and go look for him...
but baby, i wont be like that time...
i'll give you the time you need... i'll wait for you..
after so long... so very long..
i guess my love for him had never changed..
i guess i'll still be his mrs baby..
and he'll still be my mr honey...
and till that day comes, till my happiness once regain..
i will be faithfully waiting.. for my Mr Honey <3
baby i love you;i love you more than words could say...dont give up on me;cos i will never give up on you... i believe in you;i believe that we'd be together till death do us part...our love; our memories, 18 november 2003.
as i walked alone last night..
my mind is filled with nothing but him..
i got home, i bathe, and climbed onto my bed.
climbed onto my bed..
and started tearing and crying..
i dont know why i feel so pain..
all i wanted was for him to be there..
to be there to hug me to sleep..
i messaged him..
and received no replies..
im asking myself why..
why isnt there any reply..
different reasons came across my mind..
and the more i think about it..
the more unhappy and pain i get..
baby, will you not leave me alone..
will you just reply my message??
im worried, very worried...
dou yao fen kai 5 ge yue le..
wo dui ni de ai..
yi si yi si de ai..
cong wei bian guo....
ru guo wo yi wei le ni bian..
wo men shi fou you chong lai de ji hui?
mei you ni de ri zi..
wo de shen ming li mei you yi ci you xiao rong..
mei you ni, wo de shen min mei you le yi yi..
wo shi duo me de xu yao ni..
qin ai de, wo ai ni~
i miss him.
i miss him.
i miss him.
i really do.
never gone;never far;in my heart is where you are <3i love you.
woke up darn early this morning.
im freaking shagged.
totally worn out.i
seriously need
some rest.
not some, but
plenty.i woke up at like 630am today.
prep, and met matthew at 730am.
and headed down to cp together.
met jingwen and went for breakfast together.
ate mac. headed down to srjc again.
for the final rounds of debate.
the 4 schools that got into semi was....
st nics, xinmin, nanchiau and north vista.
finals had only st nics and nanchiau.
and the overall winner was st nicholas.
im darn satisfied with the finals.
cos st nics deserve to win =)
julia gabriels' son, mark gabriels was there..
wow.. thats like... so coool!!! hahas..
so after the debate, got home at around 115pm.
then prep, got changed, called up yen.
then headed to bugis.
saw the damned idiots and retards of cvss.
okays. shant be mean. just the sec1s.
super attitude and freaking rude idiots.
they wore street style. which was like...
freaking GROSS. cos they dont fit to wear streetstyle.
not saying that i fit.
but their face, their
assests doesnt allow them to wear.
front flat, back flat, short, ugly and thin like bamboo.
them = putting on a baggy jeans on bamboo stick.
understand? its simply nothing but
gross and disgusting.okays. enough about gross THINGS.
then went around looking at things.
then to bugis village. cant find what i want.
no nice 3quarts. and bought ralphlaurenblue instead.
aha. its freaking cheap can. hahas..
wanted to get it looong looong time ago..
but it was so ex all along.. so yeahs..
and now there's sale, i aint stupid alrights!!! =)
then headed down to town after that.
wenta mango. and looked at denim jackets.
nice, but have no idea how to match it.
needa consult my
beau Johan.
then yen wenta toapayoh. and i shopped around.
got bored of taka. headed to heeren.
that place is nowhere better..
so down to ps. bought hair clips.
and wanted to buy my beau a long-sleeve shirt.
wenta POA. cant find the previous one.
there aint any nice ones too..
so i guess i gotta wait for stocks to come in..
or i freaking have to go look for other brands..
like... die. i dont remember the brand.
but i can recognise cos i went with him before =)
slackked around.. then took a train back.
am toooooooo tired to shop anymore. real tired.
got home at 2145.
and came infront of the comp immediately.
i so needa clear my homework tomorrow.
aint going out tmr. have to be good girl.
stay at home, clear homework.
but definitely i wont wake up early.
i'll sleep till im satisfied. hahas..
alrights. guess for now..
im gonna bathe.
grab a bite, and sleep.
am a little hungry. havent eaten dinner yet.
then go to bed after that.
tired tired tired lah =(i miss my beau, alot.dont know whats with me also.just a week apart..and im missing him this much.i must be sick. hahas.but seriously.. the time apart hurts.knowing that we aint together..knowing that we love each other..im really all at a lost..i dont know what to do...i know he misses me too..and baby, no worries..i'll be missing you only, always <3BYEBYE.
love.
JUST WHAT ON EARTH HAS GOTTEN INTO ME??!!im not asleep. i cant go to sleep.i cant fall asleep..im not letting myself sleep...i hate myself for some reasons.cos im someone with a terrible attitude.you guys need not say.. and i know.know it inside out, very clearly.i dont know myself anymore... =(
alrights.
finally have got some time to update.
so, lets see~
wednesday.had school, obviously.
just knew my day was freaking packed.
then had tonnes of work.
burnt mid night oil.
slept late, woke up early.
felt so damned tired.. boo.
thursday.had school too. LOLS.
haiiyas. just kinda suck.
just feel like sleeping.
yawns.and my class ppl were like...
playing that "seaweed" game..
that
hai dai ya hai dai~
a retarded game.
retarded.went for tuition.
keep wanting to fall asleep.
but my math did improved a little.
i feel that way larhs. hahas..
then went home after tuition..
bathed, changed, lalala.
then wenta p.plaza for dinner.
with mummy and brother...
got home. and im here now~
talking to jas and my sis online.
gosh, needa help her do work again. sigh.
hmmmm. that stupid jas..
he's mesmerized by those gorgeous babes.
hhahas.. 2 only. dawn and kyer.
but dawn's really a babe. undeniable ^^
alrights alrights.
i dont know what im going to do next.
am soooo looking forward to the weekends.
i need my rest larhs. ahhas..
and perhaps im gonna bear with the pain.
and wait till next weekend...
and ask my babe out!! i miss him!!!
perhaps a night out together...
cos the sept holidays are here!!!
cos santa claus is coming to town~ =xlaugh my ass out. bwahahs =)
tmr's gonna be slackky.
nothing much ehs. and errs.
there's work. suck.
but nevermind. my last day working.
and pay's coming in soon. so yeah yeahs.
just slog my ass off for the last time..
until 2 months later.. hahas..
and within this 2 months..
i cant shop!! no income = no shopping!!
i am sad, really sad =(
hahas. alrights alrights.
gonna go do my work...
and go to sleep.
tired.okays.
take care guys.
good night =)
baby i miss you<3
life sucks. LOLS.
im really having terrible moodswings.
i was darn happy last night.
and am like this today. hahas.
nothing much to update too..
just that lotsa things' happening.
feeling weird about it.
and aint feeling very secured in a sense.
i need
him, to feel secure.im terrible, i know.
but im helpless.. i really am~
nothing but
him was on my mind the whole day.
i dont know why is he so special..
though he's gone, but i miss
him so..
baby, do you have any idea?any idea that im missing you...still thinking about you? i miss you, i really do...i wanna see you soon.. im dying, am desperate to see you..to have you be by my side...i love you, that you should know... <3good night all.
take care and have an early night~
im feeling good, at the tip-top condition..all my worries seem to be gone for a moment =Dperhaps the little things do matter..
seeing others happy, mean joy for me too..
i know that might sound a little too naive.
or childish at this age...
but seriously, i feel so. i feel like that~
sunday.
was slackking my afternoon off.
watched Full House in the evening..
till my second sis came back.
had a little small quarrel there.
couldnt take it... got changed, then...
headed down to pasir ris.
looked for him, passed him something..
he sent me back.. but had dinner first..
then sat down and talked about lotsa stuff.
so it was close to 2300hrs then he went back.
was feeling darn happy of course..
just kinda miss the good old days..
the days when i still had him around bahs...
missing someone is definitely not any good feeling..
and i dont deny i miss him...
my baby<3monday.slept at 330am. due to Full House. hahas.
nice show indeed. im lovin' it =D
wenta school. not feeling tired...
had a talk with mrs tan and miss ang..
regarding the debate matters...
then went back to the fixed homeroom.
boring place... and errs..
was kinda irritated today...
perhaps its bcos of the noise level bahs..
my class' a little too much today..
far tooo noisy. cant stand it. hahas..
after all lessons, went for swimming..
the last and final one...
and im glad i learnt many things.. so cool!!!
and after swimming, i went home..
went home to watch Full House!!! ahhhhhh~
wowers!! nice show. 101 stars given outta 100 =D
i simply love the ending..
they are like... soooooo
sooooo sweet!! weets~!!
i love them to bits. i love the show!!! ^^
fell asleep while watching.. was far too tired..
then finished the show...
downloaded the songs... and here i am!!!
feeling so happy can =D
its been like ages since i've been this happy =D
only if the vcds were mine... hahas x)
alrights. gonna do some catching up..
with schoolwork and stuff.
gonna go bathe again.. feeling so chlorined. LOLS.
alrights. take care guys!!!
im at the top of my world!!!
take care..
i love rain =Dbyebye lohs~
i miss you so..come back to me, please~
phew~!!
the busy week has finally ended..
and im finally free to update!!!
alrights.
its been 5 days since i've updated..
let us recall what happened.....
thursday.
we stayed back for debate again.
till around 7pm.
this time, we had mrs fiona tan with us.
and mrs lee joined in for awhile..
well, 3 ladies gathered together..
and started gossiping.. hahas..
we the students simply laughourassesout.
funny teachers..
went home feeling shag..
cant find my notes when i get home..
panicked. did some other notes.
then slept again at 2 plus 3am.
friday.
wenta school always feeling sleepy.
fell asleep several times...
got over with school...
then stayed back for the last training.
till around 230pm...
i then headed home...
reached home, slack, watch vcds.
and then fell asleep. hahas..
woke up and realised im kinda late.
so quickly got changed and stuff.
and wenta work.
came home at around 12 midnight.
cos once again, my notes are stolen!!! haas.
so yuppies, had an early night.
at around 1 plus 2am.
saturday.
woke up feeling super tired.
but no choice.. gotta pull myself through.
bathed, changed, lalala.
then headed downstairs to meet mich.
then meet matt afterwards..
took 82 and headed for srjc.
woos~ quite a long ride, fell asleep. LOLS.
had the prelims round of debate. finally.
opp vs. xinmin- lost.
prop vs. evergreen- lost. [[ bias judge ]]
so yeahs. lost overall.
but our points were high afterall.
st. nics, nan chiau, xin min n......
i forgot which school got into semi.
gonna head down to srjc next sat.
needa watch the semi and finals.
okays, so after the prelims....
mich, jingwen, matt and me headed to cp.
had lunch together at bk.
but mich went with her friends.
so ended up with jingwen n matt.
then headed to c&k, metro with them.
then headed back home together.
slackked for awhile.. slept for awhile..
then headed down to town at 630pm.
shopped around, bought some stuff.
bought 2 belts and a skirt from Kai.
spent lotsa money. LOLS.
slackked around.. thought about lotsa stuff.
uphappy stuff, happy stuff...
the memories, our memories~
got home around 11pm.
watched vcds, and fall asleep...
i dont know why..
but as the days past..
as the time flies...
i feel more and more hurt..
more and more upset..
i dont know whats with me..
the sadness just builds within me..
i feel so helpless..
i feel so lonely...
perhaps im getting weaker..
perhaps i just need someone to lie on..
alrights.
gotta go do my stuff..
and perhaps take a walk later..
will update again soon..
bye guys.
im so tied down with different things.my life's in quite a mess.im irritated, and i aint happy..do something about it ehs~before i break down and die. aha =Pridiculously, school's till 7pm for me today.
aiights. debated once again.
with
that michelle and sabrina in the opp.
i like the way sabrina speaks. thats all. aha.
i seriously suck at this round of debate.
cos i came unprepared.
went swimming on monday..
and tuition on tuesday. so, yeahs. blur.
gotta rush like mad and get things done tonight.
cos not much of time is left.
and have to hand my script to miss ang tonight.
hardworking arse. hahas.
she knew i bring phone to school all day.
and im amazed. LOLS.
nevermind. she say dont let her see or hear can le.
hahas. teachers are nice at times... =P
and missang got suan-ed throughout by the sec2s.
mr kuan was like around.. so yeahs yeahs~ aha.
crappy teachers with lotsa rumours. LOLS.
and
that missang. crappy lady. hahas.
i'll slap her if she pluck my white hairs. LOLS.
she loves slapping people.like me, we use the same terms. bwahahas =Dhaiis. tied down with tests and work.
heavy workload indeed.
standardised test's tomorrow.
luckily's on chinese.
just gotta read read and read.
needa clear my script by tonight.
and there's like drama tomorrow.
what the heck ehs? one busy woman here.
alrights. having the sudden urge to open friendster.
perhaps im just fugging bored with just msn.
but i aint gonna open another account.
a total waste of my time.
im freaking busy recently. no time for these shit.
and being stressed up serious suck.
pimples outbreak.
face gets oilier faster.
wtf.and lotsa shit. LOLS.
alrights. gonna catch superstar..
and do my debate stuff at the same time.
time's running short for us. sucks ah.
will update soon.
but when im free-er. hahas..
nights. take care...
byebye.
busy till im gonna breakdown.shag. i need my rest...baby i wan you to be by my side..let me rely on you..let me know that you're the one there for me <3
sometimes i feel so tired, so weak.
i feel like leaving the world behind..
take my leave, and sleeeep.
just leave everyone behind...
leave everything behind.....
the days i need someone...
no one's there...
the days i need a shoulder to cry on...
no one's there...
the days i need a listening ear...
no one's there...
was it because i didnt take an effort to look for one?
or was it because there are no one for me to look for?
im really very tired.. i really am....
heartache. disappointed. upset.leave me alone..good night.
my life's like a roller coaster..always having ups and downs..i dislike it, i dislike you being cold to me..i'll walk away and never turn back..and act as if i never knew you...alrights.
a bad bad day.
just another sad entry.
im feeling kinda pissed.
yet at the same time a little upset.
a friend just made is a friend just lost.
ah crap. i dont know what im talking about.
just so forget about it.
im too pissed to say anything normal.
i dont know what im trying to do.
to keep the friendship there... or what.
i dont know, i really dont.
ah fine. i needa be alone.
so not in the mood.
i need to vent my anger.
on someone, or something.
im going out.
certified bitch.leave me alone.bye.
there's nothing much for me to say..except that i wanna tell you im sorry.i've hurt him.
deep enough for him to hate me i guess.
i couldnt bring myself to lie to him.
for, he's really nice to me.
he saw,
he told him.
we met in school.
he looked like his usual self.
happy-go-lucky.
he didnt say anything about it.
so i assume everything was fine.
8pm headed down to compass point.
to get my stuff from popular.
then headed down to rivervale mall.
met him. he sent me back.
walked me to punggol plaza.
and walked me back.
despite his injured ankle.
i appreciate that, i do.
it was then, he told me that
he saw me.
at tampines yesterday.
with another guy.
i told him about it. i told him the truth.
guess he aint convinced. but forget it.
we smsed. then he called.
we talked about relationship matters.
and he asked about
him.i told him what he wanted to know.
and he sounded so upset.
he told me he was tired, wanted to sleep.
but he's online, gaming i guess.
i cant blame him, for i know im at fault.
he then hung up.
and conversation ended.
im really unsure of myself.i dont know what im doing.i dont know how many more im gonna hurt...sometimes i wonder what i am exactly.
a bitch i guess.
always stirring some troubles here and there.
making everyone so upset.
im tired baby.
i needa stop, take a look around me, and rest.
but i cant, i know i cant.
well, im getting tired. i really am.
perhaps im going to bed already.
just gonna give everything a miss tonight.
maybe i'll stay up to do some.
that all depends.
night.
im tearing, for you?
well, this entry is specially for
alex.cos i owe him this.
just read on and you'll understand =D
yesterday was sunday.
woke up late.
met
him late.
he called me.
he came over to sengkang.
we went for breakfast at delifrance.
then slackked around.
waited for God to bless us with some places to go to.
then we headed down to tampines.
catched a movie. watched mob sisters.
cos
he wanted to watch it.
quite a lame show. the storyline sucks.
however i was
entertained while watching it.
bwahahas~
after the movie, we walked around.
then i saw qingxiang.
and alex, this' for YOU.i saw JIAXIN with her mummy.JIAXIN shouted my name.i responded by looking around.then i saw JIAXIN.so i said hi to her.then she walked away with her mum.and when i saw JIAXIN...i thought of ALEX. cos' let me tell you guys a secret...ALEX <3 jiaxin ="P
okays. specially for the going-to-be-couple.
then i got home at around 4pm.
then i bathe and slept for awhile.
woke up and start mugging.
did my
pile of untouched homework.
cleared them by 130am finally..
which was a great joy to me.
and i immediately drop dead on my
bed.
that was yesterday..
and today's coming right up~
wenta school as usual.
but wenta school feeling not so tired today.
its amazing. hahas.
so slackked around, played a fool.
and was freaking happy today.
laughed till my sides hurt.
the guys in my class are retarded.
thats the sentence used by me to describe them.
aha. freaking cute asses.
then after science lesson, headed straight for swimmin.
mygod. i freaking hate it i tell you.
im now a 3-colored skin freak.
with 2 different tannlines. and i hate it. it sucks.
after next week's test, im gonna go suntanning.
once and for all. booo.
came home straight after swimming.
cos nic's having her tuition at mavis.
then i came home, gonna go bathe.
eat my dinner, then to compass point.
needa purchase some things.
then heading down to 188. meet up with them.
then going off around 9pm.
then come home do homework. lalala.
cos i dont have much homework.
only cme workbook which need not complete all.
math tuition homework, chi wb 19,20.
thats all. think can finish fast bahs... LOLS.
hopefully ah~
pray pray ah.alrights.
tomorrow's gonna be a long day for me.
cos after tuition tomorrow..
needa head back to school.
for debating meeting. gosh.
from let's say 5 or 6 all the way....
till maybe 7 plus 8? errrrrrs.
im soooo gonna breakdown soon.
i'm overworked. LOLS.
i need some looong loong rest.
im so glad sept holidays' coming in 2 to 3 weeks.
i can sleep all i like and then study.
hahas. aint going to work.
cos i cant afford to waste my time.
alright alright.
i wanna bathe.
then head for compass point oreadi.
its getting late. hahs..
first time in ur life, you heard me saying 7's late.bwahahahs. lalala.
alrights. gonna get running.
bye.
somehow, someone's telling me to wait;cos you'd turn back one day...
I WANT TO SLEEP!!!lalala.
just came home from work.
and work sucks.
cos i kena 2 warning letter the moment i wenta work.
one more time and im soooo gonna get suspended.
bwahahas.. i rock man ^^
i sooooo wanna sleep can.
im so freaking tired.
havent been sleeping well.
and that sucks.
cos all my eyebags are getting darker.
am currently on the phone with this dumbie.
he ah.. niam-ing and niam-ing and niam-ing..
say i update slow... that chicken.
my entry always long long de mahs.. dumbie!!!
bwahahas =P
and weii, tired go sleep ah.... hahahs...
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.ive got nothing else to say.
life is boring, life sucks.
BYEBYE la =D
im home, finally.
i so need my rest. bah.
errs. shall update.
after ytd's entry..........
i slackked and then slept.
not meeting
him.some other days i guess. lalala.
yeahs. so after waking up and washed up..
stayed around, waited for ahlai, his wife and chiawei.
hitch a ride in ahlai's
high-tech van to his home.
his van is really high-tech. lotsa speakers.
and blasted technos.
sounded as though we're in a club.
and he "bio" with another van. bth ah.
i sit at the back like im flying.. thrilling. LOLS.
then waited for the guys to bathe.
then left with them leaving ahlai's wife behind.
cos she wanna join us after her shows.
that ahlai was disturbing me the whole time to orchard.
cos he drove us to orchard. so yada yada~
then met up with jashawn and weiming..
then slackked around. ate dinner. blah blah blah.
bought movie tickets for valiant. nice anime~!!
very
very very very very CUTE!!!! ^^
wanted to catch land of the dead. but~ =P
bwahahs~
then when ahlai's wife came, accompanied her for dinner.
then chit chatted. talk about relationships matter.
then caught the show.. then slackked around.
saw ahloy and his girlfren outside cheers..
then sent me back in his van. ahahas..
today woke up reluctantly.
cos i slept for only that 2 hours?
then headed for school.
met up with the debating group.
consisting mathew, jingwen, ~yun, rohaisah and me.
then miss ang drove us to srjc.
then sat for the talk until i fell asleep.
throw face ah.then had a live debating with yishun town.
our first debating experience.. kinda great. hahas.
but definitely, lotsa improvements is to be made.
then headed back to the ava room for briefing.
and got the motion for next week's debate.
we are stress, very stress. aha.
gonna be busy this whole week.
have to stay back and prep for it. rehearse and shit.
booo hooo hoooo. i hate staying back. lala.
for now, im gonna either catch my beauty sleep.
or gonna watch my show.
and fall asleep. aha.
and am going to work later on. boohoohoo.
alrights.
going off then. irritated.
im having splitting headaches.
byebye.
i miss him <3
back home.
feeling darn upset.
firstly, i've lost his gift to me.
a very sweet gift. i love it loads.
and when i searched it for hours ytd..
and i mean hours..
and still couldnt find it..
crawl onto my bed and cried.
until i fall asleep.
secondly, its about my grandpa.
doctor confirmed that he've lung cancer.
the late stage ones.
and he's left with 6 more months.
seriously, what the heck is that?
why out of the sudden, he've got cancer?
i dont understand that.
LIFE SERIOUSLY SUCK.came back from school.
quite long ago. about an hour or so.
had my home econs practical exam.
did the potato egg rolls.
ang likes it. and im rather glad about it.
then came home straight.
gonna clear some of my work.
then go out. aint going to work today.
i aint in the mood to.
plus right now.
either one is lying to me.
everyone is just drifting apart..
friends come and go.
not even my kors are truthful.
some dogs they are.
i just feel as though we're strangers.
strangers talking to each other.
the hyper us, the talkative us..
what has happened in between us?
lots of things changed... just that 2 years back.
sometimes i just wished i was the one dying.
so that i wouldnt get to know so much.
at least wont be hurt that much anymore...
and thanks for adding on to my problems.
i've just stretched and pulled a wrong muscle.
my shoulder and neck area hurts like shit.
this seriously isnt my day.
i have to control my temper...
i have to; before i blow my top off.
am thinking why wont my life just end here.
its more than enough trouble.
i've cried all my tears..
smiled all my smiles.
i just so dont want to live.
doctor say im under depression,
again.
how funny. im under depression.
yes, im so depressed.
depressed till i feel like killing myself.
im going off.
i wanna continue no more.
gonna go do my homework.
bye.
yesterday ended sadly..this morning i started anew.but i've heard what i dont want to hear most.just when i got home.who will understand my pain?who will understand what im going through?what is life to me? it no longer have any meaning behind it..i just dont wanna live.life is nothing but trouble.it has never been good for me.since the day i was born.....life doesnt rock at all; it sucks.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOMMY~!!!alrights. its my mommy's birthday!!
went out for dinner together..
at this chinese restaurant at tiong bahru.
far far far far far~ =(
but before that, we headed down to sgh.
visited grandpapa. he'll be discharged soon.
but im worry about him.. God Bless.
school today was horrible.
but time passed kinda fast.
i reached school at 930am. LOLS.
cos i overslept.
then headed to sengkang clinic for MC.
so i saved myself an hour for detention.
bwahahs =D
had compo st today.
i was writing one whole chunk of crap.
guess its kinda outta point.
but forget it. its over.
im totally lost actually.
my mind is totally blank, shut down.
just feeling very very tired.
wonder what the hell has gotten into me.
got home.
faster faster tried out my home econs thingy.
mummy said it was nice. and im glad.
i find it quite unique too. LOLS.
then headed down to punggol plaza..
got the rest of the things needed.
then came home. took a bath.
changed. and went out.
am feeling freaking tired alright.
i need my sleep. im not going work tomorrow.
so gonna pong it. i really need some rest.
after school tomorrow, going home straight.
sleep until i happy and satisfied.
then wake up and do homework.
slack slack slack. then.......
saturday needa go work. lalala~
ive got piles of homework to clear.
im in deep shit. LOLS.
owe my teachers homework like dont know what.
and additional tuition homework.
bah bah bah...
deep shit.alrights alrights.
im soooooo gonna go offline.
im freaking tired.
i needa clear my home econs IDP first.
then to bed. not gonna bother about the rest.
those can wait. not my home econs.
cos that teacher's someone who cant mess with.
she's pregnant. im not gonna do bad things.
shall give in. LALALA.
will update really soon.
bye guys.
i still miss him;very much. baby baby..when will you come back for me?babies <3
im back!!
feeling a little lost in my own world;feeling lost without him... i guess i need him <3back from suntanning.
suntanning today was kinda great.
cos i only tanned for like 2 hours?
or lesser due to the inconsistency of the sunlight.
and i got quite tanned after that..
not very tanned;
but at least the ugly tannlines are gone!
yippies!!then met phebe and co. outside dte's arcade.
chit chatted for awhile. saw my aunt.
dadada. lalala. blahblahblah.
jes and i then headed for white sands for lunch.
at a really weird time. then to the beach!!!
it was freaking hot alrights!! gosh.
sat down and chit chatted for awhile.
some little secrets between girlies.
then took 403 and went home separately.
reached home at 5pm. slept.
went downstairs and bought dinner.
was waiting for his call. but guess he was resting.
he's sick and is down with fever, yet but again.
heartache. im dying to see him. i dont know why.
sometimes, i just hate meeting up with him.
he just leave me hanging there for days..
makes me miss him like i've never did...
makes it impossible for me to just washed him off my mind.
thats why.. i told him that.
told him to leave me and never contact me again;
if he's so serious about wanting to leave.
but he didnt. he said he still love me.
but couldnt be with me now. i know why. i know the reason.
everything will be fine soon. its just the time.
sometimes, some things are just difficult to explain.
im now hanging there, like a fool.
not knowing to wait, or to leave.
i know myself, i know myself well.
i know i couldnt leave him there and then. i know.
i know i would wait, even for the uncertains for him.
what am i supposed to do baby? tell me.
what am i supposed to do without you...ah, okays. funny little thingy happened.
my second sis added me in msn.
very funny indeed. we used to be like enemies.
yeah, enemies. LOLS.
but now, kinda fine. quite alright.
she's now in hostel.
so not surprising if she needs a source of connection,
with the family i guess. yeahs.
am currently waiting for my sis to bathe finish.
and it'll be my turn. im dying to bathe.
so that i could turn in early.
am tired ya know. really tired. and worn out.
perhaps by that big big sun this morning.
aiights. she's out.
and i'm going in for my bath.
nights.
ciao.
happy 40th birthday spore =Dcombined entry. edited*sometimes we just hurt the ones around us unknowingly. im sorry, i truly am.wenta work on sunday.
was in an extreme good mood.
god knows why.
i myself dont know.
perhaps its the pms reacting.
came home from work.
feeling darn afraid.
shant talk about it anymore.
slept and woke up early.
put darling's aeroplane. sorry babe.
i fell asleep. sorry.
then headed down to queenstown alone.
actually shopping alone can be fun =x
took a train down to haborfront.
then a cab to and fro queensway to harborfront.
imma rich girl. LOLS.
shopped around alone. hahas.
bought several stuffs.
fbt running shorts and bikini. lols.
then headed down to ps, met chiawei.
then headed to ssc to meet up with the rest.
so slackked at the pool area. talk crap.
watched them play pool.
then took the 2300 hrs train back home.
as for today.
i overslept!!! due to my useless phone.
the useless owner actually =x
i switched my phone to silent mode.
and fell asleep. LOLS.
so, dadada. lalala. alarm didnt ring.
i overslept. met him late.
and he ended up at my place.
so from my place, headed down to johore.
today was quite fine.
bought something we both like~
i bought a levis tee. cheap ehs.
and he bought a boss leather jacket.
hahas. shopped around.
eat around... lalala. enjoyed ourselves of course.
then he sent me back home.
spent time talking to each other.
then headed home after that~
and here i am blogging =D
bwahahas.. im in a good mood.
god knows why. again.
cos i dont know. hahas..
perhaps its
him, perhaps its just pms reactions.
first time i didnt catch the fireworks for ndp.
saddening ehs~ wanted to catch fireworks with him.
but i guess in the future years we still can bahs..
meeting up with my darling jes tomorrow.
going suntanning~ weets weets~
im lovin' it~gonna tan away my ugly tannlines. LOLS.
then might be meeting him for dinner tml night.
weets weets~ life's kinda good for me
now.for a certain period only i guess.but anyways. i miss him <3
alrights.
gonna go bathe.
take care guys.
rest early...
im going suntan tomorrow!!!laugh my ass out.
bye guys =D
its a boring sunday.
god, save me.
i've got no mood to do anything.
except sitting infront of the comp.
which makes me more bored.
cos i've done what i want to.
and am left with nothing to do.
so...... i turned to blogging.
what a life~i wanna go queensway to get my shorts.
but darling cant go.
she've gotta go visit her ah ma.
and that sucks.
so im now rotting at home.
till 5pm.
then take a bus ride down to pasir ris.
and start working.
thats plain boring.
i've yet to do any of my god damn homework.
and i've got no mood to do any of them.
im gonna die hard this time.
booooo.
parents are constantly quarreling.
which makes me hate being at home.
staying at home is just the same as;
making me super duper unhappy.
sometimes i just dont understand...
you love each other that much...
that you guys get married when possible.
then after some time...
you guys did different things..
and end up quarreling like there's no tomorrow.
he's wrong, and he blamed her.
she's wrong, and she blamed him.
what the hell is that..
come on. dont be childish.
sometimes, i just hate them.
nothing but irritants.
ah well~ im not gonna bother.
kill each other if you want. holy shit.i need peace.okays. forget about that part.
its just some complaints.
ah ah ah. gotta get running.
gonna do my math.
having math tuition tomorrow.
how sad~ anyone pity me? LOLS.
will update
real soon.
cos im always feeling bored.
and always have nothing to do.
bye.
i want the toilet!!!i want to bathe!!!I WANT TO SLEEP!!!i need my sleep.
after one long day of work.
im tired, so very tired.
will be meeting yen tomorrow.
early afternoon.
gonna go queensway to get fbt running shorts!
weeets~ =D
jiejie bathe faster!!!i want to bathe!!!gosh... she's so slow.. i wanna bathe..
i wanna sleeeeeeep.
im soooo freaking tired can....
tired, so very tired.
by the way. now i realise....
he's kinda nice afterall. LOLS.
but ahhh~ thats just a comment.
oh shit, i want the toilet.....
tired tired tired.
booo.
work's on tomorrow. that sucks. BIG TIME.
i wanna bathe and sleeeeeep.
i need my sleep. i
need it.
sleep is important, its essential.
got that?
finally, after a looooong time....she's out.bye.
i miss him.
morning everyone.
kays, i know im a little behind time.but who cares.. i just woke up =D
hmmm. didnt go to work last night.
gonna get a dressing down from amy tonight.
cos i 'no show'. LOLS.
no calls from me, no reasons or whatever.
more importantly, i didnt notify her that im not going.
so yeahs. dresing down for an act of irresponsibility.
lalala~
wenta rumbia after school.
then to compass point.
then to punggol plaza.
and back home. slackked.
wenta prepare at 4pm.
to town at 5. reached at 545.
met chiawei and co.
walked around. waited for a guy named ah lai.
his baby is cute, so very cute ^^then back to sengkang.
with only lester, jerry n yinwen.
to rivervale mall, bought thingy for bbq.
met that ahloy.
then to jerry's place. prep for bbq.
then bought joel down to rvm. get some things.
some aunties mistook me as his mummy.that doesnt rock at all.
then went to his home. then then then.
start the bbq with the pathetic 7 of us.
but slowly, more peeps joined us.
johnson, chiawei, xuanfan, joyce, shandy came.
and ahloy's gf came later at night.
so the bbq just went on the whole night.
till around 1 or 2am. curtains down.
was in joyce's room with joyce and chiawei. LOLS.
was crapping, listening to songs, got misunderstood.
feeling worn out, so almost fell asleep several times.
lester n that crazy kor of mine...
constantly coming in to do some insane thingy.
they are insane, always insane~and then drank. absolut vodka.
no kick no kick~ sadded.after much slackking and so...
ahloy, his gf and johnson left.
things start to get booooring.
then i fell asleep. LOLS.
at 4plus, lester woke chiawei up.
he then came woke me up.
then he sent me home.
with me walking really like someone who's drunk.
but im not, get that into your head. LOLS.just that i just woke up from sleep...
and im walking in high heels from sengkang to punggol.
t-i-r-i-n-g okays!!!!
reached home at around 5am, took a quick bath.
accompanied chiawei messaged.
and end up falling asleep before he reach jerry's place.
and slept till like 2pm today. LOLS.
my head's still hanging dont know where.
im still very tired, and having headache.
but i gotta go prep for work soon.
work's at 6pm. with winnie till 7pm.
and randall's my partner tonight. boooo.
uncle and my nephew's at my place..
woos~ that la pi xiao xin =D
booo booo boooo!!!!
im freaking tired lahs. sad ah.
im gonna be soooooo worn out again;
by end of tonight.
this suck.gotta complete tons of work this long weekend.
my tuition homework, which is math =(updating my phrase book.cme workbook.math graph ex9b, 10a, pg154 qns 5, 12.math curve graph class test when school reopens.compo standardized test on thursday.chinese composition and 2 newsarticle.home econs idp.chinese s.t. chpt 19,20. phrase 78-85.im definitely not gonna enjoy my loong weekend.
just please take a look at my tight schedule.
sunday's working at night.
monday's tuition till 1pm.
going nowhere i guess. if not....
i'll be down at queensway n perhaps town area,
OR,
be at home, rotting and being a hardworking girl.
tuesday's occupied by someone. am going out.
god bless it just rains heavily on tuesday evening.no ndp at padang, meaning one more day of rest.
cos if it were to rain heavily, ndp cant take place.
then it'll be postponed.
meaning one more day of sch holiday.
wednesday i must be a good girl.
must complete
ALL my homework.
and might be going down to sentosa.
with chiawei's class. which makes me feel a little extra.
if im not going to sentosa.....
i'd go suntanning at dte or hougang.
my tannlines are fading. new tannlines i see.
and that is freaking
ugly. and i mean ugly.
and back to school on freaking thursday.
a long day in school.
then friday, a short day.
but having home econs practical test.
then come another weekend =D
all well planned. bwahahas x)
alright alright. shall get going then.
will update more when time comes.
i need my sleep.god, bless me with an extra day.off to work.
im tired, tired, so tired.
school today.
sucks.
none of the school days rock actually.
nothing much today.
but i kinda adore maureen tung.
she kinda rocks. LOLS.
school ended.
waited for the god damn sports sales to start.
it took damn loooong larh.
but bought my nike sports bra at a cheap price.
outside's selling 46 to 55.
i bought it from school at 33. cheap ehs?
wanted to buy yoga mat.
outside's selling at 46.
school's selling at 25. what the heck ehs?
tomorrow's gonna buy the nike bottle.
the one aiai has. at 10 bucks. l0ls.
i needa get a new bottle.
if not the damn teachers are gonna catch me.
for my plastic ice mountain bottle. boo.
then aiai came to my place.
we'll be studying together every tuesday n wednesday.
tuesday will be having math tuition together.
wednesday at my place for revision for other subs.
then sent her to the bus stop.
then back to punggol plaza to check out the contacts.
its 33 for color contacts. but i wanna get normal ones.
for school. and its 35 for 6 months supply.
cheap ehs? and maybe i'll get a pair of color ones.
bah.see how larhs. LOLS.
haiiyers. time's passing by so slowly.
im irritated. ah~ boring.
booo booo booo. sucks ah. what to do.
im soooooooo bored.
someone entertain me please~
toopid aiai's not going sch tomorrow.
she freaking pangsehs me. l0ls~
hmm. looking forward to next week.
monday's half day.
might be going tanning straight after that.
might not be. it all depends lars. LOLS.
tuesday's national day.
meeting my bunch of monkey babies. LOLS.
its been a loooooong time since i've saw them.
wednesday's school holidays.
might be out with chiawei n co. to sentosa.
his class having some gathering.
and he asked me along.
see how larhs~ LOLS.
but tuition might be in early morning.
cos both aiai n me aint free on tuesday.
hmm. im gonna take off this week. cant work.
friday's having some bbq thingy at jerry's place.
the guys are drinking.
and its been a loong time since i've drink.
im scared i'd get drunk. LOLS.
might be ton-ing. might be not.
it all depends bahs... lalala~
friday afternoon, i wanna go queenstown!!!!
i wanna get my fbt running shorts!!!! arghs.
then after getting my shorts, then go down jerry's place.
but it all depends.
whether im going to queenstown or not.
its kinda irritating ehs~ to decide. LOLS.
haiiyahs. im sooooo irritated now can.
forget it. it all depends. lets take a step at a time =D
im now gonna call an end to this entry.
and im gonna go bathe.
after that, do my homework or whatsoever.
then to bed~
oh yarhs. math graph test tomorrow.
sucks big time eh.
god bless i dont fail. amen*laughoutlouds. kkays.
going off.
bye guys~
missing my guy.
that pile of untouched homework since last entry..
is somehow still left untouched. LOLS.
nahs. touched a little.
left a little more. which is quite alot more. LOLS.
hmm. anyways. let's update!!!
sunday was a home-rotting day.
slept throughout the day. didnt touch my hw.
thats why im on MC on monday~!!
tadah. that explains why im absent again.
however, 80% is because of my illness.
farking hell. its been like 3 weeks and im still ill..
im gonna complain.
to whom? LOLS.monday was quite an emotional day.
but yet, i enjoyed it to bits.
but at the same time, i disliked it just a little.
went to the doctor at sengkang polyclinic.
i wonder why is there so many sickos everyday.
previously when i went, it was packed.
and the same thing happened this time round.
how irritated can one get, tell me? hahas.
but anyways, it was quite fast to get examined.
so after that, proceeded straight to charles and keith.
bought a pair of very low heels.
then took 27 down to tampines.
met my darling boy. he's insane larhs. l0ls.
by the way, he passed his driving theory test.
blah.walked around looking for
that army shop.
but really, it was at the place we expected it to be.
but we didnt go n look for it there...
cos we guess it wouldnt be so near.. but it actually is.
so arghs. walked around like fools for 2 hours odd?
its a freaking hot weather. took 2 wrong buses.
took a cab which is only out to waste our money.
so walked walked sit sit.. we found our place finally.
got his army uniform done, headed back to tm.
he's supposedly meeting his mummy. but he didnt.
so brought me to the movies. caught red candy.
alrights, that show sucks to the core.
dont bother watching it i guess. l0ls.
after that, headed to kfc near cpf building to eat.
and i got emotional all after that.
cried like a fool.
im always crying. bah.then he hugged me, so tightly.
after some moments together, finally, we separated.
he sent me home in a cab as i wasnt feeling well.
separated unwillingly.
but we'll meet soon i guess...
school today.
sucks big time. waste my time only.
wenta school to waste my time.
the teachers teach things we students dont understand.
and dont answer our questions when we ask.
how are we suppose to learn that way?
stupid you know. arghs.
to the tuition's right after school.
with aiai, cristal.
will be having tuition together.
glad she learnt something finally.
she's always lazing around you see. LOLS.
then went back home together.
and here i am.
will be meeting up a friend for dinner.
at mac. l0ls. a sudden craving. dont blame me.
hahas.. but im kinda full.
dont feel like eating again. sucks eh?
ah well. im just looking forward to the weekends.
a long one it would be.
friday all the way till next wednesday.
monday's school till 10am.
tuesday national day. and wednesday's sch holidays.
school rocks
at times. so ah.... loong weekend.
just praying hard for it to rain hard on tuesday.
hahas, a secret it shall be kept as =D
ah ah ah. gonna go bathe. prep.
and off i go. there's compo to complete tonight~
life doesnt rock at all.
thats all for me and you.its the end of us. lets call this an end.its hurting me.but i cant bear to let you go.baby, i love you.
